I'm Becoming a Jedi

I went to Moscow this weekend.  I did the following:

• Raced cyclocross bikes
• Ate gyros
• Watched Star Wars
• Raced cyclocross bikes again

The combination of these items has led me to one conclusion: I need to step up my training if I'm going to join the ranks of the Jedi Knights.  Eating gyros really has nothing to do with Star Wars, but they were pretty awesome.  The rest of the trip has me wanting to get my midi-chlorian count checked.  Here's how it went down:

The first race was out at the Fountain's Ranch.  By ranch, I mean there's a dude that lives in a shed in the middle of a cross course/gravel airstrip.  By dude, I mean a one-geared freak of nature.  The Fountain Brothers both ride SS cross bikes, and ride them significantly faster than everybody else.  They also occasionally show up at road races and are still faster than everybody, on a single speed cross bike.  Consider them Han Solo and Chewbacca (I have no idea which brother would be Chewy and which one Han in this analogy).  The Millenium Falcon may not look like much without a derailleur, but they were definitely doing the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs.  This course was almost all dirt and rode like a short track mountain bike course.  It had a nice little pump track section, a bunch of flowy lines, some stairs, and a bunch of general coolness.  We started the race, and I figured out pretty quickly that most of the people there were faster than me on this course.  The Force was not with me.  However, my generally good shape made me very annoying to the people that got stuck behind me.  I would be slow and sketchy through the technical parts, then go flying down the sections where they could actually pass me.  For a viewing of how the course should actually be done, check out my teammate Nick Bell (2nd Place) working on his Jedi Jump.  Also flashing some Jedi Jumping skills was the collegiate winner, Brian Morra, in UI's school paper:

In conclusion, I got lapped by the crew of the Millennium Falcon and didn't do anything remotely Star Wars-y in the process.  On the plus side, an excellent picture of my junk emerged out of the race:

In the photographer's defense, my skinsuit points straight at them.

After the race, I got some Mikey's Gyros in my belly, then went and watched The Phantom Menace at Morra's.  I'm pretty sure I could podrace after watching it.  I may have picked up some skills from watching that, or Sunday's course may have just been way better for my crit-racing-idiot skill-set.  Whatever it was, I did a lot better the second day.  I finished 2nd in the collegiate race behind Morra once again.  I nearly won this time though.  It wasn't because of my capabilities or even Morra falling apart at the end.  It was close purely because Brian pinch flatted with about 1/4 of a lap to go, but was far enough ahead that he could run the rest of the course and still finish about 30 yards ahead of me.

The Force is strong in this one

And this is why I went for a night ride yesterday and turned off my light from time to time.  It's like the part where Luke is blindfolded and fighting the floating ball with the lightsaber.  Soon I will be able to shoot a laser beam into the hole in the side of the Death Star.

Thanks to Idaho Vandal Cycling for showing me a good time this weekend, and thanks to Wookieepedia for helping me spell all these words.

P.S. For more excellent crotch shots, check out Follett's Mountain Sports' Facebook page.